Author: How Do I Human?
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Understanding Alexithymia: The Frustration of Not Recognizing Your Own Emotions
It happened again. And it will continue to happen. And I hate it. That big, heavy feeling in my chest that I can’t describe—it sits there, weighs me down, makes me feel sick, and racks my body with what I assume is anxiety. I try all my usual coping mechanisms:✔ Exercise? Doesn’t help.✔ Sticking to…
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Routine, Structure & the Myth of ‘Go with the Flow’
If you are neurodivergent (or suspect you might be), then you might be familiar with what I call The Flap. For me, The Flap describes that horrible sensation of not knowing what to do with yourself—feeling unsettled, on edge, and uncomfortable but unable to articulate exactly why. It took me 43 years of enduring and…
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How to Recover from Autistic Burnout Faster
I’m still getting to grips with the fact that I experience autistic burnout, what it looks like, and how it works for me. For over a decade, I was trapped in a cycle of debilitating exhaustion, pain, and brain fog—a mysterious and unidentifiable illness that no one could fully diagnose. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Hypothyroidism,…
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Parenting an Autistic Child Through Change
My kids don’t do change. At all. Before we realised they were autistic, we couldn’t fathom the endless tears, violent outbursts, and shutdowns that followed the most mundane events. A different dinner than expected? A new pair of wellies because the old ones were too small? Total meltdown. Looking back, it should have been obvious…
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Stuck in the Mud: Why Routine Changes Feel Like an Existential Crisis
There I was, wandering the supermarket aisles, headphones in, half-listening to a podcast about yet another debate between globe believers and flat-earthers (yes, people still argue about this). It was all going smoothly—until I caught the chaotic train of thoughts bubbling up in my brain every few minutes: “We need to hurry up because we…
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Autistic Overwhelm and the Masking Dilemma: To Fake It or Take a Break?
The playdate was a rare occasion—my kids actually asked to meet up with friends. Naturally, I was shocked but determined to make it work. So, there I was, chatting with another mum. She was lovely—warm, easy to talk to, and genuinely kind. And yet, I felt anything but comfortable. In the lead-up to this meeting,…
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Are We Friends? Navigating the Unspoken Rules of Connection as an Autistic Adult
Throughout my life, I’ve often been caught off guard by a particular sentence: “Of course we’re friends, you’re one of my favourite people!” Each time, my reaction is the same: Huh? We’re friends? I thought you just tolerated me? I’ve always struggled with the concept of friendship. It felt too intricate, too full of unwritten…
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When Words Don’t Register: Navigating Communication Challenges as an Autistic Adult
It happened again. I thought I was being helpful—no, super helpful. My friend was facing a tricky, time-sensitive task, and I sprang into action. I made adjustments, grabbed my laptop, and got to work, doing what I do best: efficient research and problem-solving. As I worked, I checked in regularly, asking for their input at…
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Time Out: Knowing When Your Neurodivergent Child Needs a Break
The day started innocently enough: a quiet house, a warm coffee, and the comforting nonense of a podcast debating whether the earth is flat in the background. But that serenity was shattered by a sound I’ve come to know all too well—wailing from upstairs. As I paused my podcast and set down my coffee, I…
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Tidy Mind, Tidy Life: Reclaiming Order as an Autistic Adult
As a parent of autistic children and an autistic adult myself, I’ve had countless “aha!” moments over the years as I’ve recognised traits in my kids that I dismissed or misunderstood in myself as a child. One of the most striking parallels has been the profound need for order and how its absence can lead…
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